The future of your agreement

Letterbox agreements set up at the time of the adoption may be subject to change. As your child gets older, they may not want information to be sent, and it is important to respect this.

Some adopted children, with the agreement of their adoptive parents, want to write to their birth family themselves, and some may eventually want to write directly, no longer via the letterbox system. Your own views and wishes may also change, and so may those of the birth relative. Contact us if you would like to discuss the future of your agreement with an adoption social worker.

If the proposed change seems to be the right thing for everyone involved and in particular for the child, the letterbox arrangements can be changed. However, the original letterbox agreement is always set up between adoptive parents and birth relatives so that adoptive parents can maintain control over how and when information is passed on to their children. You choose what and when you share the letters with your child as they can be a useful tool to assist your child to understand their adoption as the get older. If any amendments are made a new agreement will not be drawn up, we will update the new changes on the child’s file.

What happens with your letters

We manage contact for over 250 families, so this information is important to ensure we can pass your letter on to the birth relatives/significant persons, as we want to make sure they receive it as much as you do.  

We read all letters sent through to us before we send them on to ensure they are appropriate. If there is anything that we feel is not appropriate or needs to be changed, we will always contact you first. We take a copy of every letter exchange for the child and keep a copy on the child’s file. This file can be shared with the child any time after they are 18 years old, but only if they request to see it and it will be kept with their adoption records for 75 years.

We are grateful to receive correspondence two to three weeks before the date it is due to be received. If you are experiencing any difficulties in writing your letter on time, we would be grateful if you would let us know so that we can reassure birth relatives that they will receive their letter, but it may be a little later than agreed. All exchanges are sent by recorded delivery to ensure they arrive and are received safely.

Let us know if you change address

It is important that you inform us if you have moved address. This can easily be forgotten in the process, but this is really important to prevent any letters from being sent to an old address. Let us know if you have or are due to change your address.

What happens when the adopted person becomes 18 years old?

Letter box arrangements normally end when the adopted person becomes an adult at 18 years old. They then have the right to decide for themselves what contact there should be with birth relatives in the future. Legally, an adoptive person has the right to access their birth records, held on the adoption file, once they reach the age of 18.

Adoption records will be kept safely in the archives for a minimum of 75 years. A few months before the adoptive person reaches 18, the letterbox coordinator will write to the adoptive parents and the birth relatives involved in the letterbox arrangements to remind them when the arrangements will end. The letterbox co-ordinator will provide information about sources of help and support for the future for the adoptive parents, the adopted young person and the birth relatives.

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