What is a contact agreement?

When adopting a child, staying in touch is an important consideration. The contact agreement outlines the level and type of contact that will take place between the child and their birth relatives or significant people in their life. This agreement should be completed before the adoption order is granted and is designed with the child’s best interests at heart. While the court may suggest exploring direct contact, it’s important to note that the contact agreement itself is not legally binding unless contact was part of the original Placement Order.

Here are some key points about the agreement:

adopters should have thought about contact arrangements before the child is placed with them
agreements are made with the child’s welfare in mind, informed by the experiences of adoptive adults and the importance of birth family connections to identity
the agreement will specify when letters or direct contact should occur, including when you should send updates and when birth relatives can expect to hear from you
sticking to agreed timelines is so important. As children grow older, missing expected contact (like a letter at a certain time of year) can be upsetting
the agreement will outline what has been agreed to send each time, this may include letters, photographs, school report, DVD or audio message
it will also detail what birth relatives or significant people can send and when
your agreement will be tailored to your child’s needs, which should have been discussed with you before placement
there may need to be changes and flexibility over the years as the child grows and their needs change; (a review of the agreement can be requested by both parties)
any changes will always reflect the child’s best interest, and we will work with you regarding any necessary changes to the contact agreement
please allow at least three months’ notice regarding any wishes to amend or change your contact agreement for letterbox and direct contact
direct contact should be arranged six to eight weeks before the contact is due.

Responses from birth relatives

While many birth relatives do respond regularly, there may be times when agreed contact doesn’t happen as expected. This can be difficult or disappointing, but it’s important to understand the wider context.

a missed response does not necessarily reflect a lack of interest or concern
we encourage you to continue sending your updates, responses may come in the future, and we know that some birth relatives re-engage with letterbox contact even after several years
all letters are securely held on file. If birth relatives get back in touch and wish to re-engage, we can forward any previous correspondence to them
some letters from birth relatives may be more personal or emotional than expected, especially in the early stages
an adoption social worker or staying in touch coordinator may discuss the content with you before forwarding them on.

If you have any concerns about a letter you receive, please contact us so we can talk through any issues and offer support.