The future of contact

Letterbox agreements set up at the time of the adoption may be subject to change as your child grows and understands more about their story.

Your child may want to write to their birth family themselves with your support. Your own views and wishes may also change, and so may those of the birth relative. Contact us if you would like to discuss changes to the agreement.

A review of contact arrangements can be requested by any person involved in the agreement. If the proposed change seems to be the right thing for everyone involved, the arrangements can be changed. You choose what and when you share the letters and with your child as they grow, as they are a useful tool to assist your child to understand their adoption as they get older. We will update the new changes on the child’s adoption record.

What happens with your letters

We manage contact for over 250 children at any one time, so referencing your child’s birth name ensures we can pass your letter on to the birth relatives/significant persons without delay, as we want to make sure they receive it as much as you do.

We provide advice and guidance to all those involved in the arrangement. We read all letters sent through to us before we send them to ensure no identifying information is included. A copy of every letter is placed on your child’s adoption record. The adoption record can be shared with the child any time after they are 18 years old, if they request access to their record. Adoption records are kept for a minimum of 75 years.

If you are experiencing any difficulties in writing your letter on time, let us know so that we can reassure birth relatives that everything is ok and they will receive their letter in time, but it may be a little later than agreed.

All exchanges are sent by recorded delivery or secure email to ensure they arrive and are received safely.

Moved house? Let us know if you change your address

It is important that you inform us if you have moved address. This can easily be forgotten in the process, but this is really important to prevent any letters from being sent to an old address. Let us know if you have or are due to change your address.

What happens when the adopted person becomes 18 years old?

Contact arrangements normally end when the adopted person becomes an adult at 18 years old. They then have the right to decide for themselves what contact there should be with birth relatives. An adoptive person has the right to access their birth records once they reach the age of 18. This will include contact information on the record.

A few months before the adoptive person reaches 18, the letterbox coordinator will write to the adoptive parents and the birth relatives involved in the letterbox arrangements to remind them when the arrangements will end. The letterbox coordinator will provide information about adoption support sources of help, and support for the future for the adoptive parents, the adopted young person and the birth relatives.

Explore more about staying in touch