Frequently asked questions about adoption
Here are just some of the questions we are regularly asked; however, we welcome anyone considering adoption to contact us or give us a call for an informal chat on 0300 300 8090. There’s no pressure to enquire; we can just talk you through any queries you have.
Fertility treatment
Do I need to have ended treatment to start my adoption journey?
People adopt for many different reasons, and it is not essential to have explored having a birth child prior to adopting. If you have been undertaking fertility treatment, we would ask that this has come to an end before starting your adoption enquiry. Adopting a child needs to be your priority, and that will require you to have reflected and accepted that you may not have a birth child. Many people who come to adoption due to infertility have accessed counselling following treatment, and this is viewed positively.
When your treatment has ended, we recommend you take some time to reflect before considering adoption. Some people can be ready to adopt within a few months, for others, it may take longer. We would encourage you to discuss this with your chosen adoption agency, who will advise you on this, depending on your personal circumstances.
Learn more about the adoption process.
Your home and adoption
Do you have to own your home to adopt?
You do not need to own your home to adopt. We will ask you about your lease or tenancy agreement for where you live to check that you have a secure agreement. We will also ask if you have the means to access another property should your agreement end.
Do you need a spare room to adopt?
Ideally, you would have a spare bedroom for an adopted child. This is particularly important when adopting a slightly older child, as relationships with your children and family can take some time to settle. It may be possible to consider adoption of a very young baby with a family with no additional bedrooms (sharing with parents), so long as there is a clear plan to provide the child with a bedroom of their own or with a sibling in the future.
Can you adopt if you live with extended family?
Living with extended family members can be a great support for new parents, but it will be essential for your family members to be part of the assessment process and for them to understand the needs of adopted children. This may mean that they attend training for family members and will need to be available when a child is introduced to your family.
What if my UK residence is uncertain?
To adopt in England, you must be a legal resident in the UK, the Channel Islands or the Isle of Man, and have been so for at least 12 months. UK citizens living abroad cannot adopt a child from the UK. EU nationals can consider adopting a child in the UK if you or your partner has a fixed and permanent home in the UK and you (and your partner if you have one) have lived in the UK for at least 1 year.
Learn more about who can adopt.
Do I need to speak English to adopt?
It is advisable for adoptive parents to be reasonably fluent in English so they can advocate for a child once they are in their care, and so that the concepts of adopting a child can be fully understood. We would recommend that, if applicable, you attend an English course prior to enquiring adoption.
Get answers to more questions.
Can I adopt if I have a faith or follow a religion?
Yes. Adopters can have faiths, follow a religion or choose not to. Children who need to be placed for adoption come from different cultures, backgrounds and religions, and it is positive if the family they are adopted by reflects that. We welcome people from all faiths, cultural and religious backgrounds to get in touch.
Children needing families from certain cultural backgrounds sometimes wait longer than others for adoptive families, so we would encourage adopters to consider adopting a child from an ethnicity, culture or religion other than their own.
Read our article about adopting a child from a different ethnicity to your own.
Will my relationship or marital status affect my application to adopt?
Adopters are welcome whether they are single, married or in a long-term relationship. It is recommended that if you are in a relationship, you have lived together for at least 1 year before starting your adoption enquiry. Adopted children have often experienced considerable disruption in their lives, so we want to ensure that your situation is stable. This is an important part of the assessment to become an adopter. Having a child in your care can challenge a relationship, so we would explore how you have managed a variety of situations together.
We also welcome applications from single people who have support from family, friends or communities.
Read more about the adoption assessment process.
Will my sexuality or gender affect my chances of adopting?
People are welcome to consider adoption regardless of their sexuality or gender. The same criteria to adopt would apply as heterosexual people or couples. If you are a couple, we would ask that you have been in a stable relationship for at least 1 year at the point of your application.
If you have transitioned in terms of gender, we would explore with you how established you are in your gender and how secure your sense of self is prior to application.
Your health
Can I adopt if I have health issues?
If you have a health issue, this is something we will discuss with you early on in your enquiry and it will very much depend on your health condition. Part of an adoption assessment is to gain a medical, and advice, which will include reviewing any medical conditions you may have and the long term prognosis of your condition. The information will be reviewed and we will look at how well you are able to care for a child throughout their childhood to independence and the support you have around you (including partners, family members and friends).
What if I have a mental health condition?
Many people have experienced moments where they need support with mental health, such as short periods of stress, depression or anxiety in their lives. If you’ve experienced a mental health condition, we’ll talk to you about how you have or are currently managing your condition. We encourage you to talk openly and honestly with us about this. Part of your adoption assessment will be a medical, which will also provide us with further information.
We will review the information and discuss with you your ability to meet a child’s needs and how you feel caring for a child may affect your mental health. There may be times when we feel that someone’s mental health may affect their ability to adopt, but we will consider this early on in the process and discuss any concerns with you at each stage.
Find out if you are ready to adopt with our personalised plan.
Can I adopt if I have a disability?
This will depend on your disability and other factors, such as the age of the child you wish to adopt and your support networks, for example. As mentioned above, we will ask you to complete a medical, which will be reviewed to determine your ability to parent an adopted child throughout their childhood to independence.
Can I adopt if I am overweight?
We will talk openly and honestly to you about your weight and health in the early stages of your enquiry. It’s important that you are healthy, fit and active so you are able to parent a child with a healthy lifestyle through to adulthood. This will be something that will be reviewed by the medical also.
In some cases, if you are considerably overweight, we may encourage you to lose weight, but our main focus will be on your ability to be physically well and active to parent a child into adulthood.
Find out if you are ready to adopt with our personalised plan.
What offences might prevent me from adopting?
Offences against children or sexual offences will mean that we are unable to process your application to adopt. There may also be other offences that cause concern, depending on when they were committed, the severity of the offence, the circumstances and how you now feel about those offences. As with all of our conversations, we encourage you to be open and honest about any offences you have so we can discuss them with you, as they may not be a barrier to you becoming an adopter.
If you would like to talk to a member of the team, get in touch for an informal chat.
Can I adopt if I have pets?
Many people and families who have adopted have pets. There can be benefits to having pets in a family, but it will depend on the animals you have and how they are kept.
An example of an exception would be in relation to dangerous dogs, and in some occasions, the number or type of pets in the household, which may require more consideration.
Part of our discussions will be about your pets, how they are kept, their temperament and if they are safe to be around children.
Get answers to more questions.
Your finances
How long will I need to be off work after I have adopted?
When you first adopt a child, we recommend that at least one adopter has time off work to give you time as a family to build relationships and help the child feel safe in their new home. This depends on each family, but 12 months is usually recommended. If an older child is being adopted and they attend school, you may find that you can return to work sooner if you are able to be there for the start and end of their school day. Sometimes a child may need a parent to be off work for a longer period of time, in which case financial support may be available from the agency who matched the child with you.
For people who are self employed and not entitled to adoption leave allowances, we will have a chat with you about how best to balance the need for work and being able to offer a child a good settling in period to help them feel safe with the stability they need.
Can I adopt if I have debts?
If you have debts, we will talk to you about the amount you owe and the repayments you make. We’ll discuss how you will manage these alongside the living expenses and costs of having a child. We would encourage you to consider how you will manage financially whilst taking time off work.
Can I adopt if I am unemployed?
If you are in receipt of unemployment benefits or other benefits we will discuss the possibility of financial support which may be available from the agency who matches you with a child. In the early stages, we will chat to you about your lifestyle to ensure you are financially stable and have the ability the manage on the income you have, and how you will manage with the costs of having a child.
As with all our conversations, we encourage you to be honest and open about your finances and any pressures you may experience so we can discuss them with you.
Learn about financial support for adoptive families.
Will my age be a barrier to adopt?
The only restriction is that you need to be over 21 years old to adopt. Other than that, the consideration will be more on your ability to parent a child throughout their life into adulthood. We also look at your health and fitness, and it may depend on the age of the child you wish to adopt.
Read more about who can adopt.
Birth children
Can I adopt before considering to have my own child?
You can adopt before considering to have your own children. We will discuss your plans to try for children of your own as it’s important that adopted children have time to settle before you consider having children of your own.
Can I adopt if I have children of my own?
If you have children of your own, you are also able to adopt. It is usually the case that an adopted child would be the youngest in the family by around 2 years (at the point the adopted child is placed in your care), however, there may be exceptions to this so we would encourage you to discuss your situation with us.
Create a personalised plan to see if adoption is right for you.
Can I adopt if I smoke?
Smoking or vaping does not automatically rule you out from becoming an adopter, but it will be a factor taken into consideration. If you are looking to adopt a young child, under 5 years, we will ask that you have been smoke-free for over 6 months. This includes vaping.
If you smoke and are looking to quit, visit Choose You; they provide free, local support to those living in Central Bedfordshire and Milton Keynes.
Wondering if adoption is right for you?
You don’t need to be ready to adopt. If you’re wondering what adoption involves or just want to talk it through, we’re here.
Request a call back through our contact form, call us on 0300 300 8090 or join one of our friendly information sessions.