Staying in touch after adoption
Staying in touch after adoption is a way of maintaining relationships. It’s a way of communicating information about your family between you, your children and the adoptive parents at agreed times throughout the year. This means that adopted children have regular information about their birth family as they grow up. It’s so important for children to know that you are thinking of them and that you are interested in knowing how they are getting on and helping them maintain links with both families.
Having news about children who have been adopted gives you the chance to know how they are developing, to know that they are safe and well. We understand that this may bring back painful feelings or memories, but most people feel that the information is really important and continue sharing and receiving information, plus it is generally positive for the child who was adopted.
What is a contact agreement?
An arrangement will be agreed upon between you and the adoptive parents. It’s important to remember that the agreement does not hold any legal obligation unless, unusually, a contact order has been granted in court or if contact is included in the placement order.
What does a contact agreement include?
The agreement outlines what is expected of you and the adoptive parents. It will define when and what type of contact you have, e.g. letters, photos, cards, etc. It’s really important to keep to these times as children will be expecting your letter, and if it does not arrive can be upsetting.
Can a contact agreement change over time?
Over the years, there may need to be changes and some flexibility as the child grows up and their needs change. Any changes that are made will always be in the child’s best interest, and you will be kept up to date on the changes.
Support for birth families
The family rights group - free advice and services
The Family Rights Group provide information and support for birth relatives of children who have been adopted or may be adopted. It includes links to services that are free for birth families, including:
general or legal advice
advocacy support to share your views with children’s services and other agencies
counselling or therapeutic support
support groups
advice on how you can contribute to a child’s life story book
support with contact
advice on accessing adoption records and information held by children’s services or an adoption agency
information and support about reconnecting with an adult relative who was adopted.
You can access support through the Family Rights Group website.
Adoption England - guides and resources
Adoption England has further information on staying in touch, including resources to help you maintain relationships with adopted children.
You can download the guides by visiting the Adoption England website.
Get advice
If you would like support, you can find services near you by visiting the Family Rights Group website.